Beginning with property destruction delights Twister (which has a standalone sequel, Twisters, out this week) and Independence Day, Summer ‘96 really set the tone for greasy cheeseburger cinema. An election year. New millennium hysteria. The idée fixe of CGI supremacy (though everything I’m covering also exhibits exceptional analog wizardry). That’s a potent recipe for what would become an era-defining genre wave indulging humanities general distrust of the classical elements (and societal response to their devastation), built around old-school Hollywood boom, mushy melodrama, and the obligatory dog-put-in-danger-but-he’ll-be-okay-because-it’s-PG-13 scene. Ah, and then there’s Titanic, but we’ll get to that…

TWISTER (1996) 

“That tornado…killed my father.” Ok, not an actual quote, but it might as well be. A TBS Superstation staple, Twister is the ridiculous (and very windy) tale of meteorologist Helen Hunt seeking revenge on the weather. It throws in a little screwball energy with fellow storm chaser and soon-to-be ex Bill Paxton—who’s set on starting a new life with his sex therapist fiancée and a weatherman job— reluctantly along for the ride to get some divorce papers signed; it’s gender-swapped His Girl Friday, with tornadoes. And talk about living up to its title; there are indeed a ton of roaring, violent twisters. Hell, it’s practically the whole movie, so you definitely get your money’s worth. Will you learn anything “scientific” about tornadoes? Of course not! And that’s okay. If I wanted to learn about tornadoes, I’d read the Wikipedia page. Characterization isn’t much of a strong suit either (adrenaline junkie or yuppie scum, take your pick), but again, this is a summertime crowd-pleaser about nature’s cruelest monsters rampaging through rural America like an Okie Godzilla; I’ll look for character depth somewhere else. What matters in a film like Twister is brisk pacing, helicopter shots, industrial fans, and (at the time) state-of-the-art visual effects. The simplicity is key.  

Dogs in Danger: 2

INDEPENDENCE DAY (1996)

Since everything else on this list revolves around an extreme natural disaster or some other heightened-but-conceivable catastrophe, the Irwin Allen-inspired flying saucer spectacle of ID4 really stands out amongst the disaster pic revival crowd. I’m going out on a limb here—this is the most unlikely of disasters. Sure, you could get sucked into a tornado or drown on a sinking cruise ship (if you’re reading my stuff, I hope this never happens to you!), but annihilated by laser beams from outer space? I would consider that an irrational fear. Anyway, this is a very dumb movie that I’ve been fond of since the waning days of VHS and LaserDisc—a movie that proudly (and jingoistically) wears its badge of stupidity like one of President Whitmore’s five-star generals. There isn’t a single thought in Roland Emmerich’s precious Bavarian brain that isn’t adjacent to “wouldn’t it be cool if a ufo blew up the white house???” or “what if an alien invasion made the statue of liberty sad???”. Turns out he was right—  for this type of movie, any ambition beyond that would only ruin the vibe. PS: Remember when Will Smith slapped that guy at the Oscars? What the hell was that about? 

Dogs in Danger: 1

DAYLIGHT (1996) 

For the pyromaniacs. A proto-Bay sandbox of analog destruction and textbook audience manipulation. While largely forgotten compared to its contemporaries, this feels like the purest example of the seventies disaster formula remixed for the nineties. Stallone stars as disgraced former EMS Chief Kit Latura (I guess a gender-neutral name is him showing range?) who happens to be in the right (or wrong) place at the right (or wrong) time when a truck carrying toxic waste explodes inside a tunnel below the Hudson River, incinerating hundreds while sealing off all exits. That leaves a small, diverse group of survivors, who’ve only three hours of oxygen left (there’s also collapsing infrastructure and hypothermia to worry about), trapped with no clear way out and, most importantly, no fading action star to guide them towards daylight. So it’s up to Kit, who happens to be the World’s Greatest Paramedic (on top of having what I can only assume is HGH-enhanced mega-courage), to infiltrate the hostile tunnel and rescue our cast of reliable character actors before it’s too late. Can he save the day, redeem himself within the ambulance community, and potentially find a new girlfriend? 

Dogs in Danger: 1

DANTE’S PEAK (1997) 

Ten thousand to one. According to volcanologist Harry Dalton (Pierce Brosnan), these are the odds of an eruption occurring in the small town of Dante’s Peak, Washington. In a picture such as this, I like those odds! Paired with Harry is mayor/small business owner/single mother Rachel Wondo (Linda Hamilton), whose greatest strength is a good politician’s inherent ability to stay composed under pressure. Her flaw? She just can’t seem to find Mr. Right! If that sounds a little Hallmarky, you’re onto something. In fact, one of its biggest appeals as a bygone-era curio is its shameless juxtaposition of schmaltzy, family-friendly romance and mean-spirited car-crash entertainment. Once the simmering volcano reaches its inevitable boiling point, the movie gleefully embraces a relentless pace as it ratchets up stirring set piece after set piece, ensuring any skeptics are harshly punished along the way (stubborn grannies and scientific method-followers, you’ve been put on notice). But even though it’s loaded with incident, the Who, What, or Why is less interesting than the How, with a steady diet of Dutch angles, crane shots, and movie-magic miniatures elevating rote material (shares a screenwriter with Daylight) to the highs of b-movie cataclysm.

Dogs in Danger: 1 

TITANIC (1997) 

It’s Titanic. Look, I’ll spare you the plot details—it’s one of the most popular movies ever made. The pinnacle not only for this particular big-budget disaster wave I’ve been talking about, but for the Hollywood blockbuster in general. I don’t need to go into detail about the central love story and whether it’s sappy or deeply romantic. It’s both! No need to address the stale, widely debunked “there was room for two” meme (ok, I’ll bite here too: it’s not a matter of space, it’s weight!) Why even bother applauding Cameron for how he articulates class structures aboard the ship while mapping out minutely the physical structure itself. And I certainly don’t need to unpack the blatant contradiction of a cinematic spectacle exploiting historical tragedy for financial gain while the film’s own thematic conclusion explicitly condemns that very practice. All these points have been made in the last thirty years by better writers and better critics than me. No, what I wanted to do was share a joke Tarantino told on The Howard Stern Show around the time Titanic came out. In a perfect world I would transcribe it here for you, preserving its original setup, tone and diction. Unfortunately, the interview seems to have been wiped clean from the internet, and my own memory betrays me. I remember the joke starts with a man dying and going to heaven. Anyway, the punchline is “that’s God, he thinks he’s James Cameron.” 

Dogs in Danger: 0 (though historically probably closer to a dozen)